Nov. 15th, 2014 08:15 am
elessa: (wyveri)
Today may be the day I invest the time to explore eHarmony. I am ready for a change in my life. Time to invite someone to share it with me again.

I sincerely hope it will be a better experience than previous "matches" through Yahoo Personals, Match.com, and OKCupid. I do not want a hook up. I want to find someone to spend stimulating time with both intellectually and physically.

Someone who doesn't mind spontaneous ideas of things to do rather than having to meticulously plan every single detail of a day before walking out the door in the morning.

Someone who can actually hold a conversation on more than a single topic. Too many men I have met only talk about one thing, ie sport fishing or football or hunting, to the point of me wondering if they know how to think or read as there is a hell of a lot more in the world than their single focus.

Ah well. Time will tell.
elessa: (wyveri)
Been a lonely day. It was gloriously beautiful outside. However, I could not motivate myself to do anything away from the apartment. I truly wish I had a relationship with someone. It would help with having someone to share activities with. Someone to entice me to leave my abode to live. ~sigh
elessa: (wyveri)
* It is interesting once I learn a person's age how my perception of them changes. The blond barbie who sits next to me is in her early sixties. Now that she has lost approximately twenty pounds while being on a 500 calorie a day diet her clothes fit her much better. I wish I could afford to shop where she does.

* Cleaning out drawers, even though no one but me knows or sees the contents makes me feel productive.

* I am grateful that I do not watch television nor listen to commercial radio. It is pleasant not being bombarded by political ads full of rhetoric.

* I have begun walking to my apartment from a different direction which gives me a better view of its front access. This makes me feel a little more secure in thinking if my stalker is waiting for me I will see him before he sees me.

* Why are some women incapable of washing their hands at the sink in a restroom without creating a flooded counter?

* Lavendar vanilla ice cream is delicious.

* Cloudy, rainy days with breaks of sunshine are much more satisfying than a day of nothing but rain or nothing but clear blue sky. I like the sound of the wind as it rustles through the Douglas fir trees. It differs from the sound through the Maples. The variety of weather and seasons fuels the soul with satisfaction.

* After watching the joy experienced by a co-worker as she moves into a condo she purchased last week, I am sorely tempted to buy my own place. A lot of factors to consider though. How to have enough money for a down payment. How to afford upkeep that is covered by a landlord as a renter (ie, the washer being replaced, the circuitry in the heater being replaced, the plumbing in the shower being replaced, and the water heater being replaced - all in the span of the past year) I am not young by any stretch of the imagination, which means contemplating how to afford to make payments in retirement.

* I want to travel to Europe. Specifically to see Italy, France and Germany. In the Mediterranean I would like to go to Macedonia and Turkey.

* My family makes me sad. For the last eighteen months my sisters have promised to visit me "in a few months", "in the Spring", "in the Fall". I am still waiting. I have always been the one expected to travel back to the Midwest. In the twenty eight years I have lived on the West Coast my parents have visited twice and one sister once.
elessa: (wyveri)
I am Jessy by name and am here for a serious relationship.... am very caring,honest,humble..... I'm talking about fate here - when feelings are so powerful it's as if some force beyond your control is guiding you to someone who can make you happy beyond your wildest dreams,Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end, i saw your profile and that is why i sent u this mail and u can meet me in my mail id is redactedtoprotectthestupid@yahoo.com i will like to hear from u soon..

much love

received this message on myspace. the dude only has one friend at the moment... tom. you know tom, the myspace admin dude.

i can only shake my head.

an idea

Dec. 29th, 2007 07:04 pm
elessa: (heart2)
"We have this idea that love is supposed to last forever. But love isn't like that. It's a free-flowing energy that comes and goes when it pleases. Sometimes it stays for life; other times it stays for a second, a day, a month, or a year. So don't fear love when it comes simply because it makes you vulnerable. But don't be surprised when it leaves, either. Just be glad you had the opportunity to experience it."

-- Neil Strauss (The Game) paraphrasing Joel Kramer

from wurds

i wish that when it leaves, it would be replaced with another opportunity in short order.
elessa: (labyrinth)
courtesy of "dear abby"


(1) PUSHES FOR QUICK INVOLVEMENT: Comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser presses for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

(2) JEALOUS: excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.

(3) CONTROLLING: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you're late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

(4) UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.

(5) ISOLATION: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job.

(6) BLAMES OTHERS FOR PROBLEMS OR MISTAKES: It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.

(7) MAKES OTHERS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OR HER FEELINGS: The abuser says, "You make me angry," or "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you."

(8) HYPERSENSITIVITY: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.

(9) CRUELTY TO ANIMALS OR CHILDREN: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. Sixty-five percent of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.

(10) "PLAYFUL" USE OF FORCE DURING SEX: Enjoys throwing you down or holding you against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting.

(11) VERBAL ABUSE: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse.

(12) RIGID GENDER ROLES: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.

(13) SUDDEN MOOD SWINGS: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.

(14) PAST BATTERING: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him (or her) do it.

(15) THREATS OF VIOLENCE: Says things like, "I'll break your neck," or "I'll kill you," then dismisses them with "Everybody talks that way," or "I didn't really mean it."
elessa: (heart)
people in relationships post less frequently in LJ than when they were single.

i wish i was one of them! ;p


Aug. 12th, 2007 11:04 am
elessa: (heart)
UKTV in britain commissioned a survey to produce a list of the top 20 romantic books. what is fascinating is that eight of the twenty were written in the 1800's. i have actually read the majority of these books. a few of them more than once.

mmm... jealousy, sex and violence )
elessa: (pink flowers)
i found the following article in the new york times. while they specifically use the word "marriage" i think it applies to any serious relationship between two people who are sharing a life and household. i know i should have asked some of these questions before i was married... it would have saved me much grief as i learned answers after the fact, ultimately ending in a divorce.

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?


Feb. 9th, 2006 10:15 pm
elessa: (Default)
do ye ever listen to a particular song or entire cd and have it bring up memories? tonight i have been listening to a few cds by delerium and enigma. for me, they remind me of the time spent over a 2.5 year period with a guy after my divorce. these cds were usually playing in the background while we were in the bedroom. he has been gone from my life since january 2004, yet these tracks bring up intense memories.

perhaps one day there will be another guy and another series of cds playing in the background.

July 2017



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