Among the Green Leaves

i saw tigre yesterday.

i was taking a nap laying on my side facing the window. he jumped onto the bed,
indelicately walked over me as usual and sat down on the edge of the bed in front of me.

i felt the bed move from him jumping up behind me and the pressure of him walking over my side and legs. i opened my eyes. i saw him sitting there looking at me. i reached over to pet him.

he vanished.

over the past few weeks i have noticed my grumpy old man has had difficulty when eating. he has also begun getting sick to his stomach. not hairball sick. digestion sick.

*sigh

last night he threw up blood.

went to the vet clinic, gateway animal animal hospital (thanks, donnaricci!) to have him looked at.

he has an infection in his gums which will be treated with antibiotic drops. i am guessing from his reaction they taste nasty.

however, the vomiting is due to a rather massive internal tumor which was revealed by xray. the vet suggested surgery as an option. i declined.

he has had a good life. the pain of surgery, the recovery time would be long, and the uncertainty of whether it will even help at his age made me render the immediate decision of not to have surgery.

i had already contemplated the possibility of a prognosis like this. i was prepared to give that answer.

as long as he continues to be active, loving and happy i shall make him comfortable. i know he will tell me when he is ready to depart.

tis so hard to think about without tears.

i shall miss him so badly. he has been part of my life for nearly sixteen years. i can't imagine what it shall be like to come home to an empty apartment.

i shall enjoy the time i left with him in the meantime.

my furchild has been very needy today. no matter which room i wander into, granted i only have four in which to wander, he has been with me. if i sit down, he finds a place on the floor as near as he can. thankfully for my allergies he isn't an insistent lap cat. he will periodically get up, bump his head against my leg, then go lay down again.

i gave him his daily good brushing earlier this morning which pleased him to no end. i thank the gods daily that he loves being brushed. it certainly cuts down on the shedding and the tendency to be cleaning up wet furball messes.

now if i could only convince him that continuing to jump down from heights is why he is limping i would be very happy. his dislocated shoulder is not going to heal completely at this rate.

i love my white-muzzled old furchild.